February is the month of love; let’s talk about Self love

Diving in to a challenging (for me) topic on a Monday. Let’s go!

This week on the blog we’re digging in to self love: what it is, why it matters, and how to cultivate it. Even in a pandemic.

self love: what is that??

Self love has become a popular catchphrase in the last few years. Self love can mean a variety of things to each person, and can have a different definition for each person. For me, I consider self love to mean that I put a high regard on taking care of my self, first. As a former people-pleaser, this definition makes me quake a bit on the inside!!

Self love: why it matters

Loving + accepting ourselves as we are is an essential part of how we show up in the world.

How we feel about our selves shows up in our relationships.

How we feel about ourselves shows up in our businesses.

How we feel about ourselves shows up in how we treat others.

self love: how to cultivate it

The self relationship is the longest relationship you’ll ever have. Let that sink in.

When I was in an accident and was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury in 2018, my hectic life stopped in its tracks. Suddenly unable to go and do all the things that kept me busy-busy, I found myself alone with my self, a lot.

At first I thought I could enjoy the alone time. After all, I’m an introvert and welcome time to myself.

Within a couple of weeks, though, without access to my work, studies, and commitments, I struggled with being alone with my thoughts.

I was diagnosed with significant vision problems as a result of the brain injury, and couldn’t read, drive, watch tv, play on my phone, or use the computer (I had a 15-minute screen time limit).

The migraines, dizziness, and nausea made it difficult to move (I fell several times early on) so I spent a lot of time alone on my couch or bed.

The six months after my accident were the worst six months of my life.

In this time, I found that I really didn’t like myself.

I liked the things I had accomplished. I liked the things I had done and could do. I liked the ability I had to do it all really well and feel valued for what I could do for others.

But I really didn’t like myself.

Awareness is the first step, and it was a soul-crushing realization.

I share my personal story with you because I have heard from so many others how the COVID-19 pandemic has brought similar circumstances to others.

We’ve all been confronted with our least-lovable selves in the past year. Stuck at home, in times of stress, we have each seen our worst selves come out (or is it just me?).

Whether quarantining alone, or with a partner/family/roommate, every human I’ve talked to has hit that rock bottom of dealing with self.

We call it “cabin fever,” “quarantine blues,” “pandemic fatigue,” and other labels.

Everyone has struggled.

A mindful minute for self love

Today’s mindful minute is an exercise to cultivate self love.

Write down, or say out loud, “I love myself for . . .”

Fill in the blank with an attribute that you love about yourself. Try to avoid a physical attribute (my smile or my hair or my perfect body).

Choose something that doesn’t come to you right away, maybe even something that is hard to love about yourself (my tenacity or grit are what I’m choosing today!).

Click through the slides below for some highlights!